>
✔ 100% Money-Back Guarantee on Eligible Items
✔ Prices Displayed in Your Local Currency
✔ Final Price = No Surprise Import Fees
✔ Complimentary Insured Worldwide Shipping on Qualifying Orders
✔ Select Collector & Specialty Pieces May Require Secured Delivery Handling
by Ron Koertge (Author)
Ron Koertge wants to do nothing but delight. Armed with his trademark wit, he introduces readers to Little Red Riding Hood all grown up with a fondness for salsa and chips, explores the thorny relationship of Jackie Robinson and Pee Wee Reese, spies a Trojan pony and the children it bamboozles, and offers an alternate reading to the Icarus story. He meets Walt Whitman on the set of an X-rated movie, attends his gardener's funeral, and goes to his beloved race track. Seminal figures from pop mythology speak up in unexpected ways: The Beast, transformed by Beauty, hints that his new life isn't exactly what he expected. Gretel enrolls in night school, the ogre's wife from the beanstalk yarn writes a heart-rending story on her cutting board, and a group of fourth-graders on a field trip encounters Death. Occasionally setting aside free verse, there are couplets about a Bette Davis movie, a sestina about routine blood tests, a villanelle set in a topless bar, and a set of haibun that chronicles an entire day. Reverend Ike and John Lennon said, "Whatever gets you through the night." This book will do just that and carry you right on in to the next day, guaranteed.
Author Biography
Ron Koertge teaches at Hamline University in their low-residency MFA program for Children's Writing. A prolific writer, he has published widely in such seminal magazines as Kayak and Poetry Now. Sumac Press issued The Father Poems in 1973, which was followed by many more books of poetry including Fever (Red Hen Press, 2007), Indigo (Red Hen Press, 2009), and Lies, Knives and Girls in Red Dresses (Candlewick Press, 2012). He is a contributor to many anthologies, such as Billy Collins's Poetry 180 and Kirby & Hamby's Seriously Funny. Koertge also writes fiction for teenagers, including many novels-in-verse: The Brimstone Journals, Stoner & Spaz, Strays, Shakespeare Bats Cleanup, and Shakespeare Makes the Playoffs. All were honored by the American Library Association and two received PEN awards. He is the recipient of grants from the NEA and the California Arts Council, and has poems in two volumes of Best American Poetry. He lives in South Pasadena, California.
- In stock, ready to ship
- ✔ Authenticity Guaranteed — Verified Designer Goods
- ✔ Sourced from Authorized European/U.S. Luxury Distributors
- ✔ Secure Checkout — SSL Encrypted Payments
- ✔ Fast Global Delivery — 3–11 Business Days
- ✔ Easy Returns on Eligible Items
- ✔ 100% Money-Back Guarantee — Full Refund if Not Satisfied
AUTHENTICITY GUARANTEED
Reserved for you — complete your purchase to secure this piece.
OFFICIALLY AUTHORIZED RESELLER
Discover Officially Authorized Authentic Items at STORE7994.com - Certificates Available on Request!
Independently verified for store quality and customer safety.
Trust score: 91/100
All designer items offered by STORE 7994 are sourced from trusted luxury distributors and verified through independent authentication services.
Learn how STORE 7994 authenticates luxury items
Guaranteed Authentic — Includes Brand Documentation & Third-Party Verification Options.
Shipping information
- Free Shipping* on all orders over $300 USD to most countries* Estimated delivery: 2-5 business days Mon-Sat to U.S., CA, EU etc.
- Tracking available: DHL Express
- Store 7994 Shipping policy
- Global delivery in 3–9 business days (location dependent).
- Free Worldwide Shipping $300+. International duties & VAT are calculated by destination country and may be collected upon delivery. UK orders are subject to 20% import VAT upon delivery.
Our innovation isn’t just in the brands we carry — it’s in the way we connect them. From our automation engine that keeps collections globally updated to our commitment to authenticity-first presentation, STORE 7994 exists where timeless design meets modern precision.
Every product we offer is:
Elevated · Intentional · Exclusive · Authentic
STORE 7994 is an authorized reseller of luxury fashion houses. Certificates and proof of authenticity are available to brand owners and partners upon request.
Returns & Refunds
We want you to shop with confidence at STORE 7994. If your purchase does not meet expectations, eligible items may be returned under the conditions below.
Return Eligibility
Items must be unused, unworn, and in original condition with all tags, packaging, and accessories included. Items showing any signs of wear or damage will not be accepted.
Return Window
Return requests must be made within 14 days of delivery.
Return Shipping
Customers are responsible for return shipping costs unless the item is defective, damaged, or incorrect.
Luxury Items
Items valued over $1,000 may be subject to a 7% restocking fee upon approved return.
Non-Returnable Items
For hygiene and product integrity reasons, the following items are final sale once opened or used:
• Underwear
• Fragrances
• Any worn or used items
Made-to-Order Items
Custom-designed products, including STORE 7994 hoodies, are made exclusively for each customer and are final sale. These items are not eligible for return or exchange unless defective or incorrect.
If you receive a defective or incorrect item, please contact us and we will make it right.
International Shipping & Duties
Many of our products ship directly from trusted international partners. Any applicable customs duties or import taxes are calculated at checkout and are non-refundable, even if the item is returned.
Returns & Associated Fees
All approved returns are subject to a $24 return processing fee. For international orders, duties, taxes, and return fees will be deducted from the original payment.
Shipping Policy
Complimentary shipping is offered on orders over $300. Orders below this threshold are subject to standard shipping rates at checkout.
