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by Amanda Rotach Lamkin (Author), Thomas Lamkin (Artist), Vikki Becker (Editor)
The kingdom of Gwytthenia is in peril. A plague has festered and has transformed the once beautiful land into one of dearth and danger. After years of exile in His castle and feeling like an unwelcome stranger in his own land, the good King sends trusted emissaries to our world in order to fetch a hero.
Enter Samuel Christopher McCubbins: an extraordinary boy who is handsome, brave, smart, well-liked, and everything a hero should be.
But this story is not about Samuel.
For from the bed where Samuel should be, the king's emissaries find and abscond with Samuel's cousin, Albert, a boy who is -by anyone's estimation, including his own- absolutely normal.
When Albert wakes up, he is stranded, hurt, and alone in a snowbank. There, he is discovered by a gruff but loveable penguin named Malarkey. Once he has nursed Albert back to health, Malarkey tells Albert to find the King and ask why he was brought here.
This simple, straightforward quest on which Malarkey sends Albert turns out to be, well, malarkey. Instead, Albert finds himself facing one disaster after another: giant spiders, monsters of many heads, and near starvation in the crossings of a wilderness, among other dangers. Yet, through it all he perseveres, finding friendship and kindness in the uncanny forms of dwarves obsessed with 1950's Americana, flying bears, fierce warrior women, and many others.
The Incredible Adventures of Absolutely Normal is an old-fashioned fairytale, reminiscent of The Chronicles of Narnia and The Lord of the Rings. It lays out for readers the making of a hero and shows them how strength lies within us all, if only we have the courage to look for it.
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Shipping information
- Free Shipping* on all orders over $300 USD to most countries* Estimated delivery: 2-5 business days Mon-Sat to U.S., CA, EU etc.
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Our innovation isn’t just in the brands we carry — it’s in the way we connect them. From our automation engine that keeps collections globally updated to our commitment to authenticity-first presentation, STORE 7994 exists where timeless design meets modern precision.
Every product we offer is:
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Returns & Refunds
We want you to shop with confidence at STORE 7994. If your purchase does not meet expectations, eligible items may be returned under the conditions below.
Return Eligibility
Items must be unused, unworn, and in original condition with all tags, packaging, and accessories included. Items showing any signs of wear or damage will not be accepted.
Return Window
Return requests must be made within 14 days of delivery.
Return Shipping
Customers are responsible for return shipping costs unless the item is defective, damaged, or incorrect.
Luxury Items
Items valued over $1,000 may be subject to a 7% restocking fee upon approved return.
Non-Returnable Items
For hygiene and product integrity reasons, the following items are final sale once opened or used:
• Underwear
• Fragrances
• Any worn or used items
Made-to-Order Items
Custom-designed products, including STORE 7994 hoodies, are made exclusively for each customer and are final sale. These items are not eligible for return or exchange unless defective or incorrect.
If you receive a defective or incorrect item, please contact us and we will make it right.
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Many of our products ship directly from trusted international partners. Any applicable customs duties or import taxes are calculated at checkout and are non-refundable, even if the item is returned.
Returns & Associated Fees
All approved returns are subject to a $24 return processing fee. For international orders, duties, taxes, and return fees will be deducted from the original payment.
Shipping Policy
Complimentary shipping is offered on orders over $300. Orders below this threshold are subject to standard shipping rates at checkout.
