✔ 100% Money-Back Guarantee on Eligible Items
✔ Prices Displayed in Your Local Currency
✔ Final Price = No Surprise Import Fees
✔ Complimentary Insured Worldwide Shipping on Qualifying Orders
✔ Select Collector & Specialty Pieces May Require Secured Delivery Handling
by Matt Kracht (Author)
This must-have sequel to the bestselling parody book The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America proves that all birds are fascinating, wonderful, idiotic jerks--no matter where in the world they reside.
"Full of NSFW names and descriptions for different species that'll have you LOL-ing even if you never actually go looking for said birds IRL."--Buzzfeed Following in the tracks of the first uproarious and beloved bird book in the series, this hilarious sequel ventures beyond to identify the stupidest birds around the world. Featuring birds from North and South America, Africa, Asia, Europe, and Oceania, author Matt Kracht identifies the dumb birds that manage to live all over the freaking place with snarky yet accurate names and humorous, anger-filled drawings. Offering a balance of fact and wit, this uproarious profanity-laden handbook will appeal to hardcore birders and casual bird lovers (and haters) alike. ENTERTAINING AND EDUCATIONAL: This laugh-out-loud funny spoof guide to all things wings includes a matching game, a bird descriptor checklist, and tips on how to identify a bird (you can tell a lot by looking into a bird's eyes, for example). Plus, each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. POPULAR AUTHOR: Matt Kracht is an amateur birder, writer, and illustrator who enjoys creating books that celebrate the humor inherent in life's absurdities. Based in Seattle, he enjoys gazing out the window at the beautiful waters of Puget Sound and making fun of birds. Other amusing titles from Matt include The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America and OMFG, BEES! A GREAT PRESENT: This is the perfect gift for the bird lovers and haters in your life. It also makes a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, retirement, or gag gift.Perfect for:
- Birdwatching and nature enthusiasts
- People who think birds are creepy or annoying (and people who love birds but also enjoy a good laugh)
- Anyone looking for the ultimate coffee table book or bar-top conversation starter
- Gift givers seeking a fun, quirky gift for their favorite bird enthusiast or animal lover
Author Biography
Matt Kracht is a writer, illustrator, and amateur birder who enjoys creating books that celebrate the humor inherent in life's absurdities. Based in Tacoma, he enjoys gazing out the window at the beautiful waters of Puget Sound and making fun of birds.
- In stock, ready to ship
- ✔ Authenticity Guaranteed — Verified Designer Goods
- ✔ Sourced from Authorized European/U.S. Luxury Distributors
- ✔ Secure Checkout — SSL Encrypted Payments
- ✔ Fast Global Delivery — 3–11 Business Days
- ✔ Easy Returns on Eligible Items
- ✔ 100% Money-Back Guarantee — Full Refund if Not Satisfied
AUTHENTICITY GUARANTEED
Reserved for you — complete your purchase to secure this piece.
OFFICIALLY AUTHORIZED RESELLER
Discover Officially Authorized Authentic Items at STORE7994.com - Certificates Available on Request!
Independently verified for store quality and customer safety.
Trust score: 91/100
All designer items offered by STORE 7994 are sourced from trusted luxury distributors and verified through independent authentication services.
Learn how STORE 7994 authenticates luxury items
Guaranteed Authentic — Includes Brand Documentation & Third-Party Verification Options.
Shipping information
- Free Shipping* on all orders over $300 USD to most countries* Estimated delivery: 2-5 business days Mon-Sat to U.S., CA, EU etc.
- Tracking available: DHL Express
- Store 7994 Shipping policy
- Global delivery in 3–9 business days (location dependent).
- Free Worldwide Shipping $300+. International duties & VAT are calculated by destination country and may be collected upon delivery. UK orders are subject to 20% import VAT upon delivery.

Our innovation isn’t just in the brands we carry — it’s in the way we connect them. From our automation engine that keeps collections globally updated to our commitment to authenticity-first presentation, STORE 7994 exists where timeless design meets modern precision.
Every product we offer is:
Elevated · Intentional · Exclusive · Authentic
STORE 7994 is an authorized reseller of luxury fashion houses. Certificates and proof of authenticity are available to brand owners and partners upon request.
Returns & Refunds
We want you to shop with confidence at STORE 7994. If your purchase does not meet expectations, eligible items may be returned under the conditions below.
Return Eligibility
Items must be unused, unworn, and in original condition with all tags, packaging, and accessories included. Items showing any signs of wear or damage will not be accepted.
Return Window
Return requests must be made within 14 days of delivery.
Return Shipping
Customers are responsible for return shipping costs unless the item is defective, damaged, or incorrect.
Luxury Items
Items valued over $1,000 may be subject to a 7% restocking fee upon approved return.
Non-Returnable Items
For hygiene and product integrity reasons, the following items are final sale once opened or used:
• Underwear
• Fragrances
• Any worn or used items
Made-to-Order Items
Custom-designed products, including STORE 7994 hoodies, are made exclusively for each customer and are final sale. These items are not eligible for return or exchange unless defective or incorrect.
If you receive a defective or incorrect item, please contact us and we will make it right.
International Shipping & Duties
Many of our products ship directly from trusted international partners. Any applicable customs duties or import taxes are calculated at checkout and are non-refundable, even if the item is returned.
Returns & Associated Fees
All approved returns are subject to a $24 return processing fee. For international orders, duties, taxes, and return fees will be deducted from the original payment.
Shipping Policy
Complimentary shipping is offered on orders over $300. Orders below this threshold are subject to standard shipping rates at checkout.
>