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by Dr Theresa J. Covert (Author)
Still struggling from the effects of a narcissistic or psychopathically abusive relationship?
Many people do and sadly there is very little information available to be found online or in the written research, or with counsellors and therapists that can help. Narcissistic Victim Syndrome is not officially recognised, nor is it widely even known.
Even when it is accepted, recognised and known not many people seem to know what to DO ABOUT IT to heal it... The fact is being in a relationship with a narcissist over a long period of time has long lasting traumatic effects that can be extremely catastrophic to the person suffering them.
- Doubting yourself and your sanity
- Mood swings
- Sleeplessness
- Extreme weight loss or weight gain
- Uncharacteristic jealousy/ insecurity
- Feeling like you don't know the difference between right and wrong
- Extreme paranoia (being turned into an obsessive detective)
- Endless, repetitive obsessive thinking about your ex
- Constantly trying to find explanations for what has happened
- Feelings of helplessness and despair
- A desire to self isolate
- Feeling desperately misunderstood
- Overwhelming feelings of loss and grief
- Extreme bouts of rage
- An inability to be comfortable with yourself
- Strange dreams The list goes on.... "NOBODY UNDERSTANDS!"
I hear this frustrated cry from abused people a lot.
I felt the same way when I was recovering from emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissistic/borderline psychopath. If you try and tell people who have NO EXPERIENCE with a narcissist (there is no experience like being with a narcissist, its not their fault they can't understand) about it they will either deny your experience, tell you you are exaggerating or look at you like you were crazy. Covert Narcissists dangle their vulnerability in front of you as bait, just waiting for your good nurturing mothering/fathering instincts to kick in and rescue the poor little lost child they are presenting to you.
But beneath the mask of a shy, vulnerable and "good person" something far more sinister lurks.
And this what makes covert narcissism so damaging and dangerous: the nature of the disorder is such that you are brainwashed into thinking you are dealing with a human being with a morality, perhaps even a "pillar of the community". OFT REPEATED MYTHS OF THE INTERNET ABOUT NARCISSISTS: You are Told: Narcissists are always brash, loud, assertive, flashy and Confident.
The problem is: Coverts are quiet, insecure and passive. You are Told: Narcissists will never apologise for things they do.
The problem is: Coverts can learn that a quick and TOTAL apology is a really slick way of getting their target to "go back to sleep" if it looks like they are waking up. You are told: Narcissists can be detected because they will always tell you how amazing they are and by bragging about their achievements.
The problem is: Coverts are known for presenting themselves as vulnerable victims who can even use that vulnerability as a hook to bait you in! WHAT YOU NEED NOW: - Someone who has been through the same experiences you have and understands them from the inside.
-Someone who has the knowledge, training, education and experience working on himself and others to lead you through the emotional sh*tstorm that breaking with a narcissist can create.
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