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by John Saleeby (Author)
One Eventful Day In Mississippi -
"If only my comic brilliance could be brought to the attention of classy babes like Uma Thurman and Renee Zelweger "
"You gotta quit screwin' around on the Internet and put out a BOOK That's what the classy babes go for - BOOKS "
John Saleeby wrote for the National Lampoon when he was in High School and was a stand up comic in New York in the eighties. But everybody in New York was a stand up comic in the eighties so Saleeby went back to The South where he got a night shift job at a psychiatric hospital and began writing for the Internet humor zine Acid logic. The Awful Waffle is a collection of Saleeby's best Acid Logic material as well as some stuff from a notebook he found in his living room while looking for his copy of that early nineties Playboy with pictures of Drew Barrymore.
"I never did find that Playboy with Drew Barrymore in it."
"You gotta quit looking at pictures of classy babes and put out a BOOK "
"You stole that Playboy from my living room, didn't you?"
"Yeah."
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Shipping information
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- Free Worldwide Shipping $300+. International duties & VAT are calculated by destination country and may be collected upon delivery. UK orders are subject to 20% import VAT upon delivery.
Our innovation isn’t just in the brands we carry — it’s in the way we connect them. From our automation engine that keeps collections globally updated to our commitment to authenticity-first presentation, STORE 7994 exists where timeless design meets modern precision.
Every product we offer is:
Elevated · Intentional · Exclusive · Authentic
STORE 7994 is an authorized reseller of luxury fashion houses. Certificates and proof of authenticity are available to brand owners and partners upon request.
Returns & Refunds
We want you to shop with confidence at STORE 7994. If your purchase does not meet expectations, eligible items may be returned under the conditions below.
Return Eligibility
Items must be unused, unworn, and in original condition with all tags, packaging, and accessories included. Items showing any signs of wear or damage will not be accepted.
Return Window
Return requests must be made within 14 days of delivery.
Return Shipping
Customers are responsible for return shipping costs unless the item is defective, damaged, or incorrect.
Luxury Items
Items valued over $1,000 may be subject to a 7% restocking fee upon approved return.
Non-Returnable Items
For hygiene and product integrity reasons, the following items are final sale once opened or used:
• Underwear
• Fragrances
• Any worn or used items
Made-to-Order Items
Custom-designed products, including STORE 7994 hoodies, are made exclusively for each customer and are final sale. These items are not eligible for return or exchange unless defective or incorrect.
If you receive a defective or incorrect item, please contact us and we will make it right.
International Shipping & Duties
Many of our products ship directly from trusted international partners. Any applicable customs duties or import taxes are calculated at checkout and are non-refundable, even if the item is returned.
Returns & Associated Fees
All approved returns are subject to a $24 return processing fee. For international orders, duties, taxes, and return fees will be deducted from the original payment.
Shipping Policy
Complimentary shipping is offered on orders over $300. Orders below this threshold are subject to standard shipping rates at checkout.
