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by Alexis Munier (Author), Karin Eberhardt (Author)
Learn to Speak German--the Dirty Deutsch Way!
If you think German is all brat and no wurst, you need to think again. German is sexier--and dirtier--than you might imagine. (Think Hamburg!) From hearts and violins to pigs and dogs, Goethe's native tongue is ripe--and rank--with creative obscenities, including:
Kuck mal diese geile Schnitte!
Look at that sexy chick!
Literal translation: Look at that sexy slice!
Alle wissen dass Klaus sehr gut geigt.
Everyone knows Klaus f**ks well.
Literal translation: Everyone knows Klaus plays the violin well.
Author Biography
Alexis Munier (Lausanne, Switzerland) relocated from California to Europe in her mid-twenties and began teaching English at world-renown language schools in Russia, Slovenia, and Italy. After a stint in Zurich where she was a nanny to a Swiss-German family and had a number of Swiss and Austrian boyfriends, she took to dirty German slang like a Berliner takes to beer. Now a writer and opera singer based in Switzerland, Ms. Munier still finds time to visit Vienna regularly, where she never fails sing Wagner and feast on Wienerschnitzel, and a frosty mug of Bier.
Karin Eberhardt (New York, NY) was born and raised in the wine-growing regions of the German Rheinland. While completing work on master's degrees in German and English, she visited New York City and met her future husband on a subway train. Ms. Eberhardt currently spends her days as a teacher specializing in cross-cultural German-American projects and nights educating her American artist husband in the 101 ways of Bavarian sausage-making.
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