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by Zari L. Ballard (Author)
Stop Spinning, Start Breathing - from the author of When Love Is a Lie
The characteristics of a narcissistic personality and/or narcissistic partner are such that once we finally bridge a connection to our partner's behaviors, there's simply no denying that we've found the answer. In an instant, we recognize our story as identical to all the others and our partner as interchangeable with every narcissist and sociopath on the planet. But making the discovery that the person we love is a fake doesn't magically give us the ability to walk away or make our codependency any easier to handle. Sadly enough, we become addicted to the very drama that we hate. In essence, we become the suffering - but it doesn't have to be that way. You can learn to mentally break free from the emotional abuse caused by a narcissist partner. Recovery from narcissist abuse is about coping with the emotional collateral damage of what you've experienced..and this is where Stop Spinning, Start Breathing, as a recovery workbook, will have the biggest impact. Stop Spinning, Start Breathing, the follow-up/companion workbook to Zari Ballard's When Love Is a Lie, presents a journal-style recovery process that you, as a codependent victim, can begin at any time.....whether you're in the relationship or out of it, whether you're maintaining "no contact" or struggling with it, whether your being subjected to a narcissist's silent treatment... and even while the narcissist is hoovering to keep you in the loop. No one but you needs to be the wiser about your recovery. Finally, you can stop investigating the abuse and the narcissist because you already know the truth. Counteract the N's pathological agenda with an agenda of your own - to get better - and you can start right now from wherever you're at The recovery exercises in this 3-part workbook will show/teach you...- how putting the relationship in its proper perspective - as simple as it sounds - really does end the suffering once and for all
- how mismanaging our own memories creates a relationship amnesia that keeps us addicted long after the Discard (and how to fix it )
- to use simple logic as a way to navigate the confusion of cognitive dissonance
- to understand why there is so much pain and why any relationship with a narcissist will always be different than all the others
- that facing your fears/anxieties about ending the relationship will help you to recognize what it is that you're really afraid of
- to look in retrospect on life before the narcissist and decide now who/where you'll be going forward
- how to actually appreciate the silence of a silent treatment and use this time wisely to jump-start the healing
- to recognize and protect your personal boundaries so that no one - and especially the narcissist - can ever cross them again
- how learning to live "in the moment" is the key to breaking codependency and emotional addiction to anything
Once you allow yourself to get better, detaching from a narcissistic lover /partner occurs swiftly and with less sadness, erratic emotions stabilize, and life begins to make miraculous changes
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