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by Carolyn Penny-Dren (Editor), Jonathan Okinaga (Author)
One of the most heartbreaking things that can happen to a parent or spouse is the realization that their child/spouse is struggling with substance abuse. Feelings of shame, guilt, anger, frustration, and fear are common emotions when a family finally comes to grip with the fact that their loved one is an addict. These emotions may contribute to the unfortunate action of sweeping the addiction under the rug. Whispers may happen at family gatherings during the holidays about a loved one being sent off to treatment, or being arrested for a DUI, but rarely is it something that is openly discussed. There is shame that overtakes the immediate family and the quicker it can be forgotten the better it is for everyone. What I am here to tell you is that addiction is not as rare as you may think. It ravages families of all socioeconomic standings, races, religions and creeds. Substance abuse has recently overtaken car accidents in deaths per year in America. The War on Drugs started in the 1980s and it is an abject failure. It's time to talk about addictions and what families can do to help their loved ones. Before I go any further, a question needs to be answered. Why should anyone trust what I have to say on the topic? After battling substance abuse from my teens. In 2007, at the age of 30, I finally gained sobriety. I have maintained sobriety since May 6, 2007 and have worked in the recovery field since 2008. I have been employed and interned at one of the most respected dual diagnosis drug and alcohol treatment centers in America. I was on the front lines running sober-living homes as a house manager/life coach during the peak of the opioid epidemic for four years. I established my own sober-life coaching center and have been a recovery pastor since 2010. For years, families of those that I worked with have been asking me to write a book to help others. After completing my undergraduate, Masters, and Ph.D. in under eight years, I finally had the time to commit. I decided to write a book for the families of addicts for this reason: When I first admitted to my parents that I was a drug addict and needed help, they had no idea what to do. They called their church, the state convention for their denomination, and other friends they could trust. No one had an answer or idea what steps to take next. As I have worked with families through the years, the same can be said today. There are many resources for the addict but not much help for the families. My hope and prayer is that this book will equip, teach, and allow families to not only understand addictions, but also provide a stable home to assist their loved one to live a life free from substance abuse.
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