Mean Girls Grown Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees, and Afraid-To-Bees - Paperback

by Cheryl Dellasega (Author)

Almost every woman has experienced bullying. Whether her role was that of victim, aggressor, or bystander, the pain of relational aggression (female bullying) lasts long after the incident has passed. In Mean Girls Grown Up, Cheryl Dellasega explores why women are often their own worst enemies, offering practical advice for a variety of situations. Drawing upon extensive research and interviews, she shares real-life stories from women as well as the knowledge of experts who have helped women overcome the negative effects of aggression. Readers will hear how adult women can be just as vicious as their younger counterparts, learn strategies for dealing with adult bullies, how to avoid being involved in relational aggression, and more. Dellasega outlines how women can change their behavior successfully by shifting away from aggression and embracing a spirit of cooperation in interactions with others.

Front Jacket

At one time or another, almost every woman has been involved in bullying. Whether her role was that of victim, aggressor, or bystander, the pain of relational aggression (female bullying) lasts long after the incident has passed. For those who get stuck in the mean girl role, the emotional warfare of high school can continue. As adults, these women hone their skills in verbal sabotage and behavioral put-downs. From the PTA clique to the carpool, from the gym to the boardroom, every woman knows someone who is suffering from the devastating dynamic of relational aggression.

In Mean Girls Grown Up, Cheryl Dellasega explores why women are often their own worst enemies, offering practical advice for a variety of situations. She introduces you to the "bees" of grade school who, as adults, are still involved in the same harmful dynamic: the Queen Bee, a bully who buzzes from place to place undermining and manipulating others; the Middle Bee, a go-between who spreads gossip or stands by as others do so; and the Afraid-to-Bee who retreats into passivity and is a target for aggression.

Drawing upon extensive research and interviews, Dellasega shares stories from women who have encountered these bees as well as the knowledge of experts who have helped women overcome the negative effects of aggression. You'll hear how adult women can be just as competitive and callous as their younger counterparts, using backstabbing, betrayal, harassment, misrepresentation, and exclusion to wound others.

You'll also discover: Why women often deal with conflicts differently from the way men do Strategies for dealing with women who use relationships to inflict hurt or prevent you from achieving your goalsHow to protect yourself from being involved in deception, bullying, and other harmful behaviors

Dellasega outlines how women can change their behavior successfully by shifting away from aggression and embracing a spirit of cooperation in interactions with others. Even if bee-type behaviors have plagued you since adolescence, Mean Girls Grown Up will help you let go of aggression or passivity, move on, and create relationships that are healthier and happier for you and the women around you.

Back Jacket

"Dr. Dellasega enlightens us about the sources of women's aggression toward each other, and she provides us with extremely valuable tools for how to overcome our various roles in the hierarchy and learn more constructive and compassionate means to relate to other women."
--Debra Mandel, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Healing the Sensitive Heart

"Dellasega offers strategies for us to protect ourselves from the sting of adult Queen Bees and their minions. . . . Practice the advice in this helpful book and all women win."
--Marla Paul, author of The Friendship Crisis

"There is no longer an excuse for tolerating the sting of Queen Bees and their enablers. . . . This is an insightful, practical guide to recognizing and responding to the Queen Bee syndrome."
--Diana J. Mason, R.N., Ph.D., Editor in Chief of the American Journal of Nursing

At one time or another, almost every woman has been involved in bullying. Whether her role was that of victim, aggressor, or bystander, the pain of relational aggression (female bullying) lasts long after the incident has passed. For those who get stuck in the mean girl role, the emotional warfare of high school can continue into adulthood.

In Mean Girls Grown Up, Cheryl Dellasega introduces you to the "bees" of grade school who, as adults, are still involved in the same hurtful dynamic: the Queen Bee, a bully who buzzes from place to place undermining and manipulating others; the Middle Bee, a go--between who spreads gossip or stands by as others do so; and the Afraid-to-Bee, who retreats into passivity and is a target for aggression. Drawing upon extensive research and interviews, Dellasega outlines how women can change their behavior successfully by shifting away from aggression and embracing a spirit of cooperation in interactions with others. Even if these behaviors have plagued you since adolescence, this book will help you let go of aggression or passivity, move on, and create relationships that are healthier and happier for you and the women around you.

Author Biography

CHERYL DELLASEGA, PH.D., is a professor in the College of Medicine and the Department of Humanities at Pennsylvania State University. She is the author of Forced to Be Family, Surviving Ophelia, Girl Wars, and The Starving Family.