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by Wyoming Rossett (Author)
If an astronaut farted during a spacewalk and neither sound nor smell is carried in a vacuum, did he really fart? This book will answer the question.
Some packages say "Open here." What would you do if it said "Open somewhere else"? Why are they called "apartments" when they're all stuck together? Why do we say something we don't like "sucks"? Is sucking bad? Would you trust a proctologist with poor depth perception? What exactly are the duties of a rear admiral in the navy? Give a man a fish and he'll eat. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit on his ass in a boat all day. Pee for enjoyment, not employment! What would happen if a poisonous snake bit its own tongue? Why is lemonade made from concentrate while cleaning products are made with real lemon? If your coffee tastes like mud, maybe it was ground this morning. If you're in a vehicle going faster than the speed of light, what would happen if you turn on the headlights? If a new airport opened in Los Angeles, would the closed one be called "EX-LAX"? If it's zero degrees today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? If you live in a trailer at the top of a hill, are you upwardly mobile? If tweetle beetles battle with their paddles in a puddle and the puddle's in a bottle and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles, what does that mean? Dr. Seuss was here! If you threw a hand grenade into a French kitchen, you would have Linoleum Blown-Apart. Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
This is the ultimate collection of conundrums, oxymorons, parodoxi, puns, valuable trivia, and general advice for living. Won't you join in the fun as the author takes you around the world of the bizarre, the unanswerable questions and their answers, crazy facts, punny puns, and axioms that will improve your life in a hilarious way.
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Shipping information
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Our innovation isn’t just in the brands we carry — it’s in the way we connect them. From our automation engine that keeps collections globally updated to our commitment to authenticity-first presentation, STORE 7994 exists where timeless design meets modern precision.
Every product we offer is:
Elevated · Intentional · Exclusive · Authentic
STORE 7994 is an authorized reseller of luxury fashion houses. Certificates and proof of authenticity are available to brand owners and partners upon request.
Returns & Refunds
We want you to shop with confidence at STORE 7994. If your purchase does not meet expectations, eligible items may be returned under the conditions below.
Return Eligibility
Items must be unused, unworn, and in original condition with all tags, packaging, and accessories included. Items showing any signs of wear or damage will not be accepted.
Return Window
Return requests must be made within 14 days of delivery.
Return Shipping
Customers are responsible for return shipping costs unless the item is defective, damaged, or incorrect.
Luxury Items
Items valued over $1,000 may be subject to a 7% restocking fee upon approved return.
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For hygiene and product integrity reasons, the following items are final sale once opened or used:
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Custom-designed products, including STORE 7994 hoodies, are made exclusively for each customer and are final sale. These items are not eligible for return or exchange unless defective or incorrect.
If you receive a defective or incorrect item, please contact us and we will make it right.
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Many of our products ship directly from trusted international partners. Any applicable customs duties or import taxes are calculated at checkout and are non-refundable, even if the item is returned.
Returns & Associated Fees
All approved returns are subject to a $24 return processing fee. For international orders, duties, taxes, and return fees will be deducted from the original payment.
Shipping Policy
Complimentary shipping is offered on orders over $300. Orders below this threshold are subject to standard shipping rates at checkout.
