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by Richard Crasta (Author)
By the father of three children, eight books, and one kicking and screaming Inner Child that refuses to go to sleep or grow up, this anthology of nonconformist humor, a No.2 Amazon humor bestseller for 5 weeks, imagines: -What if the child ordered to Go the F**k to Sleep (in Adam Mansbach's zillion copy bestseller) decides to offer #resistance to adult fascism, using clever, child-like logic along with the occasional f-word? -Five thousand Indian yogis flown in to balance India's budget deficit by spilling coffee on their laps at five thousand McDonalds restaurants. -A Nuclear Weapons Fire Sale to balance America's budget deficit. By the author described by Kurt Vonnegut as "very funny," this is not a book for children, but for adults who love absurd, satirical, and "no sacred cows whatsoever" humor. "Hysterical and informative. For the rebel in you. Great style and humor"--Linda J. Lundy, Amazon 5-star review "Inspired silliness, Pythonesque goofiness, political bite."--Laurie Boris, Author of "The Joke's on Me."
Author Biography
Richard Crasta lives, eats, and breathes in cyberspace, but does not own a virtual cat. His three sons are now old enough to decide when and for how long they wish to sleep, but once upon a time, he was a little child who dared not talk back to the adults who commanded his to sleep. This book is his Inner Child getting back at all those fascist adults! [Really? Grow up!] The e-book version of this book, as well as a special paperback edition, has been published under the pen-name "Benny Profane."
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