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How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You - Paperback

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by The Oatmeal (Author), Matthew Inman (Author)

The Oatmeal's most popular cat jokes, including "How to Pet a Kitty" and "The Bobcats," plus 15 new and never-before-seen cat-themed comics, are presented in this hilarious #1 New York Times best seller from Matthew Inman, creator of the popular website The Oatmeal. Includes pull-out poster!

If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at The Oatmeal.

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats! A bonus pullout poster is included at the back of the book.

Author Biography

Brilliantly whimsical yet oddly informative, The Oatmeal is an entertainment Web site full of comics, quizzes, and stories. The site gets more than 5 million unique page views a month; 250,000 blogs and Web sites have linked to it. The Oatmeal is written, drawn, and coded by Matthew Inman, a king of all trades when it comes to the Web. Matthew lives in Seattle, Washington. He subsists on a steady diet of crickets and whiskey. He enjoys long walks on the beach, gravity, and breathing heavily through his mouth. His dislikes include scurvy, typhoons, and tapeworm medication.

Number of Pages: 136
Dimensions: 0.5 x 9 x 7 IN
Illustrated: Yes
Publication Date: October 09, 2012
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