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by Zachary Auburn (Author)
The cats of America are under siege
Long gone are the good old days when a cat's biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, "What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?" and "What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?" and especially "Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can't he just play with yarn like cats used to do?" Our country--and our cats--stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats--and America--great againAuthor Biography
Zachary Auburn is a writer and artist whose 'zines include an analysis of every outfit worn by the Golden Girls in the first season, a Choose Your Own Adventure about a tortured relationship (which Slate called a "small masterpiece"), and a field guide to the aliens on Star Trek. He has been profiled in the Portland Mercury, Catster magazine, and Utne Reader.
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Shipping information
- Free Shipping* on all orders over $300 USD to most countries* Estimated delivery: 2-5 business days Mon-Sat to U.S., CA, EU etc.
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- Store 7994 Shipping policy
- Global delivery in 3–9 business days (location dependent).
- Free Worldwide Shipping $300+. International duties & VAT are calculated by destination country and may be collected upon delivery. UK orders are subject to 20% import VAT upon delivery.
Our innovation isn’t just in the brands we carry — it’s in the way we connect them. From our automation engine that keeps collections globally updated to our commitment to authenticity-first presentation, STORE 7994 exists where timeless design meets modern precision.
Every product we offer is:
Elevated · Intentional · Exclusive · Authentic
STORE 7994 is an authorized reseller of luxury fashion houses. Certificates and proof of authenticity are available to brand owners and partners upon request.
Returns & Refunds
We want you to shop with confidence at STORE 7994. If your purchase does not meet expectations, eligible items may be returned under the conditions below.
Return Eligibility
Items must be unused, unworn, and in original condition with all tags, packaging, and accessories included. Items showing any signs of wear or damage will not be accepted.
Return Window
Return requests must be made within 14 days of delivery.
Return Shipping
Customers are responsible for return shipping costs unless the item is defective, damaged, or incorrect.
Luxury Items
Items valued over $1,000 may be subject to a 7% restocking fee upon approved return.
Non-Returnable Items
For hygiene and product integrity reasons, the following items are final sale once opened or used:
• Underwear
• Fragrances
• Any worn or used items
Made-to-Order Items
Custom-designed products, including STORE 7994 hoodies, are made exclusively for each customer and are final sale. These items are not eligible for return or exchange unless defective or incorrect.
If you receive a defective or incorrect item, please contact us and we will make it right.
International Shipping & Duties
Many of our products ship directly from trusted international partners. Any applicable customs duties or import taxes are calculated at checkout and are non-refundable, even if the item is returned.
Returns & Associated Fees
All approved returns are subject to a $24 return processing fee. For international orders, duties, taxes, and return fees will be deducted from the original payment.
Shipping Policy
Complimentary shipping is offered on orders over $300. Orders below this threshold are subject to standard shipping rates at checkout.
