How to Fight Presidents: Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country - Paperback >
/ How to Fight Presidents: Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country - Paperback

How to Fight Presidents: Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country - Paperback

Regular price$19.00
/
(Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.)
✔ Authenticity Guaranteed — Verified Designer Goods
✔ 100% Money-Back Guarantee on Eligible Items
✔ Prices Displayed in Your Local Currency
✔ Final Price = No Surprise Import Fees
✔ Complimentary Insured Worldwide Shipping on Qualifying Orders
✔ Select Collector & Specialty Pieces May Require Secured Delivery Handling
Our authentication process ensures every item meets strict luxury verification standards. Learn more
Complimentary worldwide shipping on qualifying orders

by Daniel O'Brien (Author), Winston Rowntree (Illustrator)

Make no mistake: Our founding fathers were more bandanas-and-muscles than powdered-wigs-and-tea.

As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first U.S. president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence.

And now these men--these hallowed leaders of the free world--want to kick your ass.

Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our current political parties, but can any of them tell you what to do if you encounter Chester A. Arthur in a bare-knuckled boxing fight? This book will teach you how to be better, stronger, faster, and more deadly than the most powerful (and craziest) men in history. You're welcome.

Author Biography

DANIEL O'BRIEN is the head writer and creative director of video for Cracked.com, the coauthor of the New York Times bestseller You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News, and senior writer on The De-Textbook.

Number of Pages: 272
Dimensions: 0.79 x 8.13 x 5.17 IN
Illustrated: Yes
Publication Date: March 18, 2014
  • In stock, ready to ship
  • Backordered, shipping soon
Shop with Confidence
  • ✔ Authenticity Guaranteed — Verified Designer Goods
  • ✔ Sourced from Authorized European/U.S. Luxury Distributors
  • ✔ Secure Checkout — SSL Encrypted Payments
  • ✔ Fast Global Delivery — 3–11 Business Days
  • ✔ Easy Returns on Eligible Items
  • ✔ 100% Money-Back Guarantee — Full Refund if Not Satisfied
Verified Trust Rating: 91/100
Amazon American Express Apple Pay Bancontact Diners Club Discover Google Pay Mastercard PayPal Shop Pay USDC Visa SSL Secure
Amazon Pay Logo Fast checkout with Amazon Pay. Use your Amazon account to skip entering shipping or card info.
Trusted by discerning buyers worldwide — secure, verified luxury sourcing

AUTHENTICITY GUARANTEED

Reserved for you — complete your purchase to secure this piece.

Authorized Designer Inventory Secure & Encrypted Checkout Tracked & Insured Delivery

OFFICIALLY AUTHORIZED RESELLER

Discover Officially Authorized Authentic Items at STORE7994.com - Certificates Available on Request!

Independently verified for store quality and customer safety.
Trust score: 91/100

All designer items offered by STORE 7994 are sourced from trusted luxury distributors and verified through independent authentication services.

Learn how STORE 7994 authenticates luxury items

Guaranteed Authentic — Includes Brand Documentation & Third-Party Verification Options.

Shipping information

  • Free Shipping* on all orders over $300 USD to most countries* Estimated delivery: 2-5 business days Mon-Sat to U.S., CA, EU etc.
  • Tracking available: DHL Express
  • Store 7994 Shipping policy
  • Global delivery in 3–9 business days (location dependent).
  • Free Worldwide Shipping $300+. International duties & VAT are calculated by destination country and may be collected upon delivery. UK orders are subject to 20% import VAT upon delivery.

Our innovation isn’t just in the brands we carry — it’s in the way we connect them. From our automation engine that keeps collections globally updated to our commitment to authenticity-first presentation, STORE 7994 exists where timeless design meets modern precision.

Every product we offer is:
Elevated · Intentional · Exclusive · Authentic

STORE 7994 is an authorized reseller of luxury fashion houses. Certificates and proof of authenticity are available to brand owners and partners upon request.

This site is protected by hCaptcha and the hCaptcha Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Returns & Refunds

We want you to shop with confidence at STORE 7994. If your purchase does not meet expectations, eligible items may be returned under the conditions below.

Return Eligibility
Items must be unused, unworn, and in original condition with all tags, packaging, and accessories included. Items showing any signs of wear or damage will not be accepted.

Return Window
Return requests must be made within 14 days of delivery.

Return Shipping
Customers are responsible for return shipping costs unless the item is defective, damaged, or incorrect.

Luxury Items
Items valued over $1,000 may be subject to a 7% restocking fee upon approved return.

Non-Returnable Items
For hygiene and product integrity reasons, the following items are final sale once opened or used:

• Underwear
• Fragrances
• Any worn or used items

Made-to-Order Items
Custom-designed products, including STORE 7994 hoodies, are made exclusively for each customer and are final sale. These items are not eligible for return or exchange unless defective or incorrect.

If you receive a defective or incorrect item, please contact us and we will make it right.

International Shipping & Duties
Many of our products ship directly from trusted international partners. Any applicable customs duties or import taxes are calculated at checkout and are non-refundable, even if the item is returned.

Returns & Associated Fees
All approved returns are subject to a $24 return processing fee. For international orders, duties, taxes, and return fees will be deducted from the original payment.

Shipping Policy
Complimentary shipping is offered on orders over $300. Orders below this threshold are subject to standard shipping rates at checkout.