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by Michael Supe Granda (Author)
"Not every old man turns into Walter Matthau or Jack Lemmon. Grumpy is not an option, here", cites the author. "Many old men enjoy being funny, old guys, who like to laugh a lot and jolly about". If any of this pertains to you, you've come to the right place. Read on. There are only two requirements to being a professional Santa Claus: 1) be fat and 2) be funny. If you can check these two boxes - and you're an old, chunky guy with a white beard - it's possible to make a little extra cash for your holidays. You will also have a whole lot of fun. If any of this rings true with you, read on. This gig is quite seasonal. On Dec. 26, it's over. Then, you go on an eleven-month vacation, until next Thanksgiving. You will read about large, drunken, corporate bashes in fancy restaurants. You'll read about small, intimate family gatherings around the fireplace. Both are wonderfully festive, in their own ways. You will read about impromptu encounters in the frozen food section of the grocery store, as well as the parking lot of the post office. You will read about the 'ups' (cheerful children, wanting new bikes) and the 'downs' (saddened children, wanting their parents to stop fighting). You will read about sparkling kids. You'll read about obnoxious adults. For the past decade, Supe has portrayed Santa, treating it as a legitimate, lucrative gig. Here, he shares many of the nice (as well as, not so nice) things he's seen with his mirror-image view through Kringle's eyeglasses. Many times, he sees you before you see him. But, if 'you' want to try your hand at being 'him' - and you want to take it seriously - it's a cool and rewarding side job. Read on, prancer. Read on, comet. Read on, reader.
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Shipping information
- Free Shipping* on all orders over $300 USD to most countries* Estimated delivery: 2-5 business days Mon-Sat to U.S., CA, EU etc.
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Our innovation isn’t just in the brands we carry — it’s in the way we connect them. From our automation engine that keeps collections globally updated to our commitment to authenticity-first presentation, STORE 7994 exists where timeless design meets modern precision.
Every product we offer is:
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STORE 7994 is an authorized reseller of luxury fashion houses. Certificates and proof of authenticity are available to brand owners and partners upon request.
Returns & Refunds
We want you to shop with confidence at STORE 7994. If your purchase does not meet expectations, eligible items may be returned under the conditions below.
Return Eligibility
Items must be unused, unworn, and in original condition with all tags, packaging, and accessories included. Items showing any signs of wear or damage will not be accepted.
Return Window
Return requests must be made within 14 days of delivery.
Return Shipping
Customers are responsible for return shipping costs unless the item is defective, damaged, or incorrect.
Luxury Items
Items valued over $1,000 may be subject to a 7% restocking fee upon approved return.
Non-Returnable Items
For hygiene and product integrity reasons, the following items are final sale once opened or used:
• Underwear
• Fragrances
• Any worn or used items
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Custom-designed products, including STORE 7994 hoodies, are made exclusively for each customer and are final sale. These items are not eligible for return or exchange unless defective or incorrect.
If you receive a defective or incorrect item, please contact us and we will make it right.
International Shipping & Duties
Many of our products ship directly from trusted international partners. Any applicable customs duties or import taxes are calculated at checkout and are non-refundable, even if the item is returned.
Returns & Associated Fees
All approved returns are subject to a $24 return processing fee. For international orders, duties, taxes, and return fees will be deducted from the original payment.
Shipping Policy
Complimentary shipping is offered on orders over $300. Orders below this threshold are subject to standard shipping rates at checkout.
