✔ 100% Money-Back Guarantee on Eligible Items
✔ Prices Displayed in Your Local Currency
✔ Final Price = No Surprise Import Fees
✔ Complimentary Insured Worldwide Shipping on Qualifying Orders
✔ Select Collector & Specialty Pieces May Require Secured Delivery Handling
by Eric Spitznagel (Author)
"Like most pornography, I found Fast Forward to be a relentless and indecent assault on the traditional family values that Americans find most sacred. Makes a great stocking stuffer.--Amy Sedaris
With dreams of becoming a highly respected screenwriter, Eric Spitznagel moves to Los Angeles. When Hollywood fails to notice him, he settles for the next best thing: writing scripts for adult films. Determined to make the most of his bad luck, he sets out to make a movie that will be celebrated more for its witty dialogue and gripping plot than its raw depictions of hardcore sex. As Spitznagel discovers, making the Great American Porn is far from easy, especially when you've been hired to write a sequel to Butt Crazy.
Spitznagel struggles to be taken seriously as an artist, a seeming impossibility in an industry averse to "complicated words." Along the way, he meets a director with delusions of being the porn Kurosawa, an actress with a scholarly knowledge of medical maladies, and an NBA star who might just make the biggest mistake of his life. In an industry devoted to churning out disposable erotica, can one lowly writer make an adult film that compels viewers to admire the plot without hovering a thumb over the fast forward button?
Eric Spitznagel is the author of four humor books, including The Junk Food Companion: A Celebration of Eating Badly (Plume, 1999). His writing appears frequently in Playboy, Esquire, Harper's Magazine, and The Believer.
Author Biography
Eric Spitznagel is the author of four humor books, and a frequent contributor to Playboy and The Believer. An excerpt from Fast Forward was previously published by Salon.com.
- ✔ Authenticity Guaranteed — Verified Designer Goods
- ✔ Sourced from Authorized European/U.S. Luxury Distributors
- ✔ Secure Checkout — SSL Encrypted Payments
- ✔ Fast Global Delivery — 3–11 Business Days
- ✔ Easy Returns on Eligible Items
- ✔ 100% Money-Back Guarantee — Full Refund if Not Satisfied
AUTHENTICITY GUARANTEED
Reserved for you — complete your purchase to secure this piece.
OFFICIALLY AUTHORIZED RESELLER
Discover Officially Authorized Authentic Items at STORE7994.com - Certificates Available on Request!
Independently verified for store quality and customer safety.
Trust score: 91/100
All designer items offered by STORE 7994 are sourced from trusted luxury distributors and verified through independent authentication services.
Learn how STORE 7994 authenticates luxury items
Guaranteed Authentic — Includes Brand Documentation & Third-Party Verification Options.
Shipping information
- Free Shipping* on all orders over $300 USD to most countries* Estimated delivery: 2-5 business days Mon-Sat to U.S., CA, EU etc.
- Tracking available: DHL Express
- Store 7994 Shipping policy
- Global delivery in 3–9 business days (location dependent).
- Free Worldwide Shipping $300+. International duties & VAT are calculated by destination country and may be collected upon delivery. UK orders are subject to 20% import VAT upon delivery.

Our innovation isn’t just in the brands we carry — it’s in the way we connect them. From our automation engine that keeps collections globally updated to our commitment to authenticity-first presentation, STORE 7994 exists where timeless design meets modern precision.
Every product we offer is:
Elevated · Intentional · Exclusive · Authentic
STORE 7994 is an authorized reseller of luxury fashion houses. Certificates and proof of authenticity are available to brand owners and partners upon request.
Returns & Refunds
We want you to shop with confidence at STORE 7994. If your purchase does not meet expectations, eligible items may be returned under the conditions below.
Return Eligibility
Items must be unused, unworn, and in original condition with all tags, packaging, and accessories included. Items showing any signs of wear or damage will not be accepted.
Return Window
Return requests must be made within 14 days of delivery.
Return Shipping
Customers are responsible for return shipping costs unless the item is defective, damaged, or incorrect.
Luxury Items
Items valued over $1,000 may be subject to a 7% restocking fee upon approved return.
Non-Returnable Items
For hygiene and product integrity reasons, the following items are final sale once opened or used:
• Underwear
• Fragrances
• Any worn or used items
Made-to-Order Items
Custom-designed products, including STORE 7994 hoodies, are made exclusively for each customer and are final sale. These items are not eligible for return or exchange unless defective or incorrect.
If you receive a defective or incorrect item, please contact us and we will make it right.
International Shipping & Duties
Many of our products ship directly from trusted international partners. Any applicable customs duties or import taxes are calculated at checkout and are non-refundable, even if the item is returned.
Returns & Associated Fees
All approved returns are subject to a $24 return processing fee. For international orders, duties, taxes, and return fees will be deducted from the original payment.
Shipping Policy
Complimentary shipping is offered on orders over $300. Orders below this threshold are subject to standard shipping rates at checkout.
>