Breaking the Cycle of Abuse: How to Move Beyond Your Past to Create an Abuse-Free Future - Hardcover

by Beverly Engel (Author)

"A beacon of hope for women and men who fear that they will pass the abuse they have suffered on to their children, partners, or employees. Humane and compassionate but also clear and down to earth, this is a wonderful contribution to the literature on healing."
--Lundy Bancroft, author of When Dad Hurts Mom and Why Does He Do That?

"In this remarkably powerful, wise, and compassionate book, Beverly Engel leads readers step by step through a program that will help survivors of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in childhood to heal from their wounds so they don't need to re-enact their abusive pasts. She offers expert advice and strategies to help parents and would-be parents avoid doing to their children what was done to them and helps both abusers and victims in emotionally and physically abusive relationships make vitally important changes in their relationships."
--Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Toxic Parents and Emotional Blackmail

If you were emotionally, physically, or sexually abused as a child or adolescent, or if you experienced neglect or abandonment, it isn't a question of whether you will continue the cycle of abuse but rather a question of how--whether you will become an abuser or continue to be a victim. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, a leading expert on emotional and sexual abuse, explains how to stop the cycle of abuse once and for all. Her step-by-step program provides the necessary skills for gaining control over emotions, changing negative attitudes, learning healthy ways of communicating, healing the damage from prior abuse, and seeking out support.

Throughout, Engel shares many dramatic personal stories including her own experiences with abusive behavior. Breaking the Cycle of Abuse gives you the power to shatter abusive patterns for good and offers a legacy of hope and healing for you and your family.

Front Jacket

If you were emotionally, physically, or sexually abused as a child or adolescent, or if you experienced neglect or abandonment, it isn't a question of whether you will continue the cycle of abuse or neglect but rather a question of how--whether you will become an abuser or continue to be a victim. Until now, you may not have had the resources you needed to sort through the debris of your childhood before embarking on a new life as a husband, a wife, a partner, or a parent, and you risk passing on abuse or neglect to your partner and children. Now, in this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world's leading experts on emotional and sexual abuse, explains how to stop the cycle of abuse once and for all.

There isn't just one way to break the cycle; there are many. In this powerful book Engel offers you empowering tools focusing on support and compassion, education, abuse prevention strategies, and long-term recovery strategies. If you are just starting to see signs of abusive or neglectful behavior in yourself or in a partner, if you are a victim of abuse, or if you are continuing a pattern of abuse, Engel gives you the ability--in the privacy of your home and at your own pace--to complete an entire therapeutic program designed to help prevent you from crossing the line or from continuing to do so.

Throughout the book, Engel shares many dramatic personal stories, including her own experiences with abuse and abusive behavior. She also addresses the sensitive topic of sexual abuse and how to avoid becoming an abuser if you were sexually abused yourself. Engel explains why abusive patterns are established and presents both short-term and long-term strategies for gaining control over emotions while offering alternative ways to react to stress, anger, fear, and shame--significant factors in continuing the cycle of abuse. Her step-by-step program provides the skills needed to:

• Stop negative behavior before it becomes habitual and causes significant harm to your loved ones
  
• Heal the damage you experienced from prior abuse or neglect
  
• Change negative attitudes and beliefs that create a victim or abuser mentality
  
• Learn healthy ways of communicating needs and resolving conflicts
  
• Learn parenting skills that will help prevent you from passing on what was done to you
  
• Repair damage that has already occurred to your relationships, including those with your children
  
• Seek out further assistance and support
  

Those who perpetuate the cycle of neglect and abuse do so because they are out of control and feel they have no other options. Breaking the Cycle of Abuse shows you those options, giving you the power to break abusive patterns for good and offering a legacy of hope and healing to you and your family.

Back Jacket

Expert guidance in stopping and recovering from abuse

"We all have the power to break the cycle of abuse. In this remarkably powerful, wise, and compassionate book, Beverly Engel leads readers step by step through a program that will help survivors of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in childhood to heal from their wounds so they don't need to re-enact their abusive pasts. She offers expert advice and strategies to help parents and would-be parents avoid doing to their children what was done to them and helps both abusers and victims in emotionally and physically abusive relationships make vitally important changes in their relationships."
--Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Toxic Parents and Emotional Blackmail

"A beacon of hope for women and men who fear that they will pass the abuse they have suffered on to their children, partners, or employees. Humane and compassionate but also clear and down to earth, this is a wonderful contribution to the literature on healing."
--Lundy Bancroft, author of When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse and Why Does He Do That?

PRAISE FOR BEVERLY ENGEL'S OTHER BOOKS

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship

"Beverly Engel clearly and with caring offers step-by-step strategies to stop emotional abuse . . . helping both victims and abusers to identify the patterns of this painful and traumatic type of abuse."
--Marti Tamm Loring, Ph.D., author of Emotional Abuse and coeditor of Journal of Emotional Abuse

Loving Him without Losing You

"A powerful and practical guide to relationships that every woman should read."
--Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., author of Are You the One for Me?

Honor Your Anger

"A clearly written, insightful look at a topic that concerns everyone. You can indeed learn to understand and manage your anger, and this book will show you how."
--Robert Epstein, Ph.D., West Coast editor, Psychology Today, and university research professor, California School of Professional Psychology

Author Biography

BEVERLY ENGEL is an internationally recognized expert in emotional and sexual abuse. A licensed marriage and family therapist for twenty-eight years, she is the author of many nonfiction books dealing with emotional and sexual abuse, including The Emotionally Abused Woman and The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse. Her four most recent books are The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, Honor Your Anger, Loving Him without Losing You, and The Power of Apology, which was a finalist in the Books for a Better Life Awards. Engel conducts workshops and professional training programs throughout the United States and has appeared on many national television shows and networks, including Oprah, Donahue, Ricki Lake, Sally Jessy Rapha?l, CNN, and others.