Baby's First Book of Socialist Propaganda - Paperback

by William M. Schmalfeldt Sr (Author)

Imagine a post-apocalyptic America, fragmented beyond recognition. People will still, no doubt, have babies. And, if current trends hold (we're looking at YOU, Texas) the fragmented nation will want the children in their individual fragments to learn the history THEY want the kids to learn. In that spirit we present "Baby's First Book of Socialist Propaganda". Written by some future bureaucrat to instruct the conservative children in this conservative group of former states, you can laugh at what is already happening in conservative states as the textbooks are changed to reflect the Tea Party ideology of the ruling powers. Here's the original product description: There are no pretty pictures in this book. Pretty pictures are for soft minds. Do you want your children to be soft-minded? No. You do not. Soft minds are for liberals, and they are the weaklings we are fighting in the east. You want your children to be strong, liberty-loving, free-thinking patriots who will do as we say. You will begin reading chapters from this publication when the precious little fetus being carried by one of your wives is in the first trimester of its life, which began the moment you, the father, soaked her woman parts with your sinful fluids. These stories will be read directly to the precious, darling angel growing in one of your wives' belliy so at the moment of birth, the "child" (as we will call it) will be fully educated into the proper way of thinking. Under no circumstances should the child be allowed to read this book itself. It will require your careful supervision as the parent to ensure that the proper lessons are learned from the words contained herein. When the child is removed from your home for mandatory public indoctrination at your own expense, the child will be tested for its knowledge of these principles. Children who do not pass a written test will be sent to the Pain Mines of Wyoming for further processing and the parents of that child will be processed for whatever byproducts can be produced in the rendering process. This book should be read in a sneering, sarcastic manner so the child will be aware of the foolishness of Socialist thinking. When the child is old enough to have it done without killing it, the child should be spanked on the naked buttocks, with the book, if the child laughs at any part herein. ENJOY THE BOOK The Director

Author Biography

There is something literally wrong with Bill Schmalfeldt's brain. He has had Parkinson's disease for just about 15 years. Not that you should care, mind you, except for the fact that over a million Americans have this progressive neurological disorder and an estimated 50,000 new diagnoses come down every year. But don't worry. You probably won't get it. Neither will your mother, father, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, cousin, niece, nephew, son, daughter or anyone you care about. Probably. Or else, you could donate to an organization like the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Reseearch. Just a thought. Listen to Parkinson's Disease Radio on http: //schmalfeldt.org, TWITTER @Parkinsonsradio FACEBOOK http: //facebook.com/wmsbroadcasting LINKED IN http: //www.linkedin.com/in/parkycompanion