✔ 100% Money-Back Guarantee on Eligible Items
✔ Prices Displayed in Your Local Currency
✔ Final Price = No Surprise Import Fees
✔ Complimentary Insured Worldwide Shipping on Qualifying Orders
✔ Select Collector & Specialty Pieces May Require Secured Delivery Handling
by Marla Buchanan (Author)
The author's love for the classic 70's sitcom, Sanford and Son, and one of its most colorful characters, "Aunt Esther" Anderson, has inspired her to write this satirical booklet of Christian edification and evangelism in Esther's voice. Learn how to "Spot a heathen at twenty paces," "Beat the devil out of somebody," "Gird your girdle-clad loins," and more!
Author Biography
Marla Buchanan is a "funny, irreverent, feminist, and larger-than-life" essayist, and is the author of "A Dirty Girl's Essays on George Carlin's '7 Words You Can't Say on Television, '" the memoir, "Rescue in Arabia: a true story of abduction, tragedy and hope," and other works. She is "happily on the doorstep of AARP membership," and is the mother of four adult children (and the grandmother of one). She lives in Northern Illinois, and has worked in social services and education. She was married to her Syrian-born ex-husband, Salim Kassem, the father/abductor of their son, Mohamad ("Moe") Kassem, for approximately 6-1/2 years. They were divorced in 1994. In October 2002, Moe was abducted by his father and taken to the Middle-East, where they remained until Salim was killed in a car-rollover in Saudi Arabia, in August 2007. Moe was left critically brain-injured and in a coma. Saudi Prince Muhammad bin Naïf bin Abdul-Aziz Al-Saud, the current Minister of the Interior, and nephew of King Salman, personally sponsored Moe's medical care and Marla's travel to, and stay in Saudi Arabia. A college graduate, she earned her B.A. in Anthropology (Minor: Women's Studies) at Northern Illinois University, in DeKalb, Illinois, in May 2007, nearly 24 years after obtaining her G.E.D. She was a featured speaker during Women's History Month, at NIU, in March 2007, where she spoke about Moe's abduction, and was also named an "Outstanding Female Student of the Year." Marla has traveled extensively throughout the Middle-East and Europe, visiting such countries as Syria, Jordan and Saudi Arabia, as well as England, Switzerland and Italy. She's also a 10-year cancer survivor after having been successfully treated for Papillary Thyroid Cancer in 2004. Recently diagnosed with the genetic movement disorder, Essential Tremor (ET) the author is determined to overcome this most recent challenge via her amazing ability to adapt and change. Her life is an evolutionary work in progress.
- In stock, ready to ship
- ✔ Authenticity Guaranteed — Verified Designer Goods
- ✔ Sourced from Authorized European/U.S. Luxury Distributors
- ✔ Secure Checkout — SSL Encrypted Payments
- ✔ Fast Global Delivery — 3–11 Business Days
- ✔ Easy Returns on Eligible Items
- ✔ 100% Money-Back Guarantee — Full Refund if Not Satisfied
AUTHENTICITY GUARANTEED
Reserved for you — complete your purchase to secure this piece.
OFFICIALLY AUTHORIZED RESELLER
Discover Officially Authorized Authentic Items at STORE7994.com - Certificates Available on Request!
Independently verified for store quality and customer safety.
Trust score: 91/100
All designer items offered by STORE 7994 are sourced from trusted luxury distributors and verified through independent authentication services.
Learn how STORE 7994 authenticates luxury items
Guaranteed Authentic — Includes Brand Documentation & Third-Party Verification Options.
Shipping information
- Free Shipping* on all orders over $300 USD to most countries* Estimated delivery: 2-5 business days Mon-Sat to U.S., CA, EU etc.
- Tracking available: DHL Express
- Store 7994 Shipping policy
- Global delivery in 3–9 business days (location dependent).
- Free Worldwide Shipping $300+. International duties & VAT are calculated by destination country and may be collected upon delivery. UK orders are subject to 20% import VAT upon delivery.
Our innovation isn’t just in the brands we carry — it’s in the way we connect them. From our automation engine that keeps collections globally updated to our commitment to authenticity-first presentation, STORE 7994 exists where timeless design meets modern precision.
Every product we offer is:
Elevated · Intentional · Exclusive · Authentic
STORE 7994 is an authorized reseller of luxury fashion houses. Certificates and proof of authenticity are available to brand owners and partners upon request.
Returns & Refunds
We want you to shop with confidence at STORE 7994. If your purchase does not meet expectations, eligible items may be returned under the conditions below.
Return Eligibility
Items must be unused, unworn, and in original condition with all tags, packaging, and accessories included. Items showing any signs of wear or damage will not be accepted.
Return Window
Return requests must be made within 14 days of delivery.
Return Shipping
Customers are responsible for return shipping costs unless the item is defective, damaged, or incorrect.
Luxury Items
Items valued over $1,000 may be subject to a 7% restocking fee upon approved return.
Non-Returnable Items
For hygiene and product integrity reasons, the following items are final sale once opened or used:
• Underwear
• Fragrances
• Any worn or used items
Made-to-Order Items
Custom-designed products, including STORE 7994 hoodies, are made exclusively for each customer and are final sale. These items are not eligible for return or exchange unless defective or incorrect.
If you receive a defective or incorrect item, please contact us and we will make it right.
International Shipping & Duties
Many of our products ship directly from trusted international partners. Any applicable customs duties or import taxes are calculated at checkout and are non-refundable, even if the item is returned.
Returns & Associated Fees
All approved returns are subject to a $24 return processing fee. For international orders, duties, taxes, and return fees will be deducted from the original payment.
Shipping Policy
Complimentary shipping is offered on orders over $300. Orders below this threshold are subject to standard shipping rates at checkout.
